This is depressing. . .

Let me start by saying that I'm not one of those women who ever understood why pregnant women insist that they are or look fat. I don't get it. It is so obvious that pregnant women are PREGNANT and not FAT. Those two things look completely different. I figured it was just hard for women to grow out of their clothes and (later on) swell in various places and that it just was overall hard to be that much bigger than you are used to being. So they called themselves fat.

But I couldn't WAIT to look pregnant. First, I'm not the thinnest girl on the planet and to finally have an excuse NOT to suck in my belly sounded glorious. And second, I think pregnant women are the cutest thing ever!

But! I was not prepared for this. For the first 7 or 8 weeks or so, I battled with some serious bloat. I definitely didn't look pregnant but my jeans were pretty snug and I knew it was more bowel than baby. Still, not much different than a period would be so I didn't really worry about it. Then around week 12 or 13, Brad and I both started to notice a change. Hooray! The first signs of a tiny baby belly. But I knew it was too small for anyone but me and him to notice. Me, because it's my body. And him, well, because he's my husband and he knows my body pretty well. ;-) Sorry, TMI.

But by week 14 or 15, I thought for sure people would start noticing. I even stopped sucking in because I was sure it was obvious that my new-found belly was all baby! (Am I the only girl out there who makes sure to always be "sucking in" a little just to make sure that any potential muffin-top or tummy roll remains at bay??) And I was sure those close to me, who were used to seeing me pretty regularly, could tell. I was sure they'd notice the change and say something. But no, nothing. I was a little disappointed because I was so excited to think that I might be showing! I made the mistake of telling Brad this. And then he made the mistake of being "helpful." Thinking that it would be genius to quietly ask friends and family if they could tell. He did this thinking, bless his heart, that they just weren't paying attention. That maybe if he pointed it out they would finally notice.

Instead, I have had 3 people tell me that I, in fact, DO NOT look pregnant. My own mother even asked today if I had gained any weight yet. Wha?!?

Why is this depressing, you ask? Because I've outgrown my pre-pregnancy jeans (well, I suppose I can button them but it ain't pretty!) Because my tops no longer reach down quite as far as they used to. And because I definitely have a noticeable pooch. And why do they all think this is how I normally look?!?

Yes, it is seriously depressing that everyone thinks this is my normal. And to answer my mother's question, NO! I haven't gained weight. In fact, I lost 5 pounds in the first trimester and have only gained 1 pound back! Proving that this pooch, here? It's all baby!

So I leave it up to you to judge. Please be kind. But, also, be honest. Here goes nuthin':
This is from back in January. I had just started the pump and would be going off birth control in a couple of weeks! Little did I know, I would be pregnant within 3 months!
Here, I was 7 weeks pregnant. Holy bloat, Batman! My waist? She's a-gone.
And this was today, at 15 weeks and 4 days. For the love of everything that is good and holy, how is this not a change?!?

So, for me, I will be so stinking happy when this belly finally comes into it's own. When it enters a building before I do. When it is so ridiculously obvious that I'm pregnant, that not to notice would mean you are in serious need of corrective lenses. Then, and only then, will I stop whining that I look fat. ::sigh::

Crankily yours,
~Layne