Guessing games

A funny thing happened right before I went to eat lunch the other day. I could tell I was low and had waited a tad too long to eat. I tested my blood sugar and this is what I saw:
YIKES!! I re-tested twice and saw this:
And this:
That made a whole lot more sense. BUT . . . .

There have been several posts recently regarding the accuracy of glucose meters. For those of you who don't know, the FDA only requires meters to have a +/- 20% margin of accuracy. While this doesn't sit entirely well with me, I've never really had a problem with my meters. Usually they give me numbers that reflect how I'm feeling and if not I either need to wash my hands or dry them and I get a more accurate read.

Today I was left a little more flabbergasted. I had recently washed my hands and they were completely dry. Why was my meter being retarded? And then I remembered the night a few weeks after I started the pump when I was attacked by the high from hell. I was in the 300s all day, by night time I had battled my way down to the 200s. I had changed everything, my site, my insulin and I was losing my mind! All of a sudden I went from the mid-200s to 168! Victory! Wait? 168? WTF?

I re-tested and sure enough, I was 276. Ah ha.

Never mind.

And the more I paid attention the more I notice this kind of thing. Has this always been happening and I'm just noticing more because it's in the forefront of my mind right now? Or are these recent occurrences just flukes? I don't know. But I will say it's really confusing because I don't know what to do with these numbers. Do I average them? Usually I end up testing several times and playing the "2 outta 3 wins" rule. But it's scary. What if I'm basing treatment on a number that's totally off? If my blood sugar has been high and it's coming down I want to stop bolusing like crazy! On the other hand if it's not budging I need to make sure that I correct. How do I know what to do and which test to believe?

I do know that this whole diabetes business is hard enough when everything works correctly (insulin, meters, pumps, will-power . . . ). Throw in glitchy technology and those whole mess becomes a friggin' guessing game. And that's one game I don't want to play with my health.

Am I the only one this happens to? What do you do when the meter doesn't match how you feel? Or throws you a bizarre number out of left field? Do you keep testing (and throwing strips and money out of the window) until you see a number that makes more sense? Or do you assume it's right and treat based on the number you got?

I guess that's it. Ramble over.

~Layne

Diabetic Sighting

Last weekend, Brad and I were at Lowe's for some gardening supplies and to shop for things for other household projects. At one point, in the light bulb isle, Brad leaned over and whispered, "Look at her! She's wearing an insulin pump!" And he motioned to a woman who walked past us and stopped a few yards away.

"Are you sure?" I said.

"Yeah. On her other hip."

So I casually strolled past her pretending to be on the lookout for light bulbs (read: not sly at all) and when I got to the other side of her, sure enough, there was a pump (a Minimed) clipped to her waistline. Tubing and all!

I walked back and told Brad he was right and congratulated him on a super-slick diabetes sighting. Then he said, "You looked like you were going to say something to her."

I told him I wanted to but what the heck do I say?

"Hello, I noticed your insulin pump."

"Hey, nice pump! I have one too"

"Come here often?"

What is this? Some sort of cheesy diabetes pick up line? I looked at her and tried to find a reason to talk to her. Something we had in common other than the diabetes. She was a she and that was a start. She looked older than me, maybe late 30s or early 40s. Physically fit. Was she a mom? If so, did she experience pregnancy with diabetes? (Yes, I always think of pregnancy-related things! Don't you know I have baby fever?!?) I wonder when she was diagnosed? Was she new to the pump or using it for years?

I had all these questions wracking my brain. I love the DOC and talking with people online but meet-ups in real life are super sparse around these parts. I would love to meet more folks here just to chat and vent. (Although, I did meet a local fellow T1-er, Christi. We met for lunch a while back and have chatted online and I love knowing that there's someone close by to share with. Hey Christi!) Sometimes I feel like such a rare breed that seeing another person like me out in the wild invokes a crazy need in me to reach out!

Am I nuts? Have I absolutely lost my mind? And I wonder if I had gone up to her if she'd be wondering those same things about me?!? Brad and I moved on but we kept passing her while we were in the store. I went to pee while Brad was checking out and she even ended up in line next to him! (No, he didn't talk to her.) Every time I passed her I wondered if I should say something? Would it be weird? How do I start that conversation without sounding crazy? And if we did get to talking what would my poor husband do while we waxed on about our diabetes kinship-ness.

In the end, I never said anything. I wanted to but couldn't figure out a good opening line. In most situations, I'm not shy. I like talking to new people. Plus, I'm usually in an environment where socializing is expected. Work, parties, gatherings, etc. These are all times when it's socially acceptable to find someone to talk to and actually strike up a conversation. But at a hardware store? I needed to find a reason, an opener. This time I couldn't find one that didn't sound forced, contrived. And what do I know? For some diabetics, their diabetes is what it is and just doesn't play a large role in their lives. I've met a few that don't feel like diabetes has an emotional component for them, they never wonder about other folks with diabetes, never feel the need to reach out or compare stories, never need to vent. They just do it and move on. More so, some even feel awkward talking about it, especially with a stranger.

I'm sure most folks in the DOC can't relate because, really, why else would we be here? But I'm telling you I've met these people. They are out there. And what if the random person I go up to feels that way? Not only am I a freakzoid but now I'm an unwanted-stalker-freakazoid who is invading their privacy and making them feel uncomfortable! Scary!

What do you think? Should I have just gone up and introduced myself? Should I walk away and leave the diabetes fraternizing to the DOC? Am I the only one who gets (maybe a little too) excited when they have a diabetes sighting in public? Who feels the need to bond with strangers wearing pumps or checking their sugar in public?

Please let me know if I need to seek help!

~Layne

My Herb Garden

This doesn't really have a whole lot to do with the kinds of things I normally blog about but I love to cook. Like, really really love it. And I'm even getting more into baking which is something I found hard to do at first. (I'm not that into measuring and patience, which you need in spades to bake anything decent.) I find cooking both calming and rewarding. I love having Brad act like something I made tastes amazing. I find it even more fun to adapt a recipe to our particular tastes and have it turn out that much better! Cooking has always been a hobby but lately I've been doing even more to contribute to our tasty (and healthful) meals!

I also post about this over on my cooking blog but since it's been so much a part of my life lately I thought I'd talk about it over here. Specifically, that I have been very productive lately!! I really enjoy using fresh lemons from the lemon tree that grows in my backyard as ingredients in my meals. And I have been wanting an herb garden ever since we moved into this house but I haven't gotten off my butt. Well, for some reason a couple of weekends ago, I was bitten by the bug and Sunday morning I woke up and asked Brad if we could go out and get all the things we needed for the herb garden. And so we spent the rest of the day at Lowe's and in the yard!

I decided to try and find (and plant) my favorite herbs and then the ones I use most often. (Like parsley, don't love the taste but it's great in everything for some freshness.) The front row (closest to the walk) has three herbs. Flat-leaf Parsley is the one that is farthest away, oregano is in the middle and basil is the closest, in the corner. In the back, near the house is dill (farthest away) and cilantro.

As you can see from the picture, Raina likes to be outside with us while I'm working in the garden. She loves to explore! Luckily she has she no interest in my herbs. Those are for the grown-ups!

I can't even tell you how happy I am about this herb garden. I'm scared to death that I'll kill it but so far I have prevailed. The first couple days I was afraid of drowning it so I avoided watering. I was told to be sparing on the water for the first few days!! But by day 3, they were looking wimpy, puny and all-around droopy. And I was convinced I had killed them. I read up and found out that after they are established they should be watered about every other day, about when the soil starts looking dry. So I dashed out and watered them right away. What do you know? The next day they bounced right back, must have just been dehydrated! I've taken to watering them about every other day and almost 2 weeks later they are doing great. Look at the "after" photo!!

Well, I do have one that is lagging behind! I had the worst time finding all the herbs I wanted. There were a few I was hoping for that I just couldn't find, or what I found was in pretty bad shape. Like the cilantro. It's tied with basil as my favorite herb. I just LOVE the stuff. (Oregano is Brad's favorite herb, btw). So I was beyond disappointed when after trips to 2 different places I couldn't find any decent cilantro. But I loved it so much I bought the only two plants they had that still looked half-alive. (For reference, I bought four of each of all the other herbs.) I planted them hoping that a little TLC would bring them back.

One shriveled up and died in about 2 days. Two weeks later, the other little plant is still hanging on! And it's starting to look pretty good! But it just can't quite grow and expand like the others are. Brad and I are planning a trip to the farmer's market this Sunday and I'm going to see if I can find any more cilantro buddies for the one I have that is growing lonely in my back yard!

I never thought I would have so much fun and interest in gardening. But as much as I love to cook (especially with fresh herbs) this garden really suits me. There is nothing like snipping a few fresh herbs and then making dinner with what you grew in your own backyard! I've already made salsa and some yummy pasta (to be posted soon) with my new herbs. Can't wait to use them again! Yum!

~Layne

This is ridiculous . . .

Yes, Brad and I want a baby. Yes, Brad and I have know this since last year. Yes, I found out I would have to postpone these plans for a while. And, yes! The postponing is over!

However, I am not "baby crazy". I do not have "baby fever", dammit. It was a term I used once, in jest, to describe myself. Good Lord! Ye s, I want to be a mom but why does Brad have to tease me incessantly about having baby fever? I'm a professional, dammit. A grown adult. I'm rational, intelligent and I'm capable of having lots of things on my mind at once (work, bills, family, friends, etc). And yet he teases me all the time. Tells me the only thing I can of is babies. He even hinted that if I was so baby crazy, maybe I should just swipe one from work? I know there is that joke everyone tells about stealing supplies from your office . . . but c'mon?

Sure, I wonder constantly if I'm pregnant. But I argue that it's not so much baby fever as it is being the most impatient person on the planet. Whether it's pumping gas or waiting in line at the grocery store. . . patience is a virtue that I don't so much posses. Sure, I constantly interrogate him about about names, colors, if he's excited, will he still love me when I'm fat, etc, etc, etc. But someone has to say these things! And I'm the talker in this thing! If it were all up to him, we wouldn't talk about it 'til the kid actually popped out!

This is love, folks. Welcome to it. We're happy, we're still so in love and have a great time together. We make each other laugh all the time and every day I'm more and more convinced that I'm with the best guy on the planet. And we are trying to plan a family here! And amongst it all my husband has to go and be a 5-year-old. He even accused me of only wanting him for his sperm.

You're very funny, honey.

~Layne

Update

Someone asked if I could make sure to let everyone know how the change in insulin is going since the blood-sugar debacle last weekend. Well, it's hard to say what the cause was, whether it was just the change to Humalog from Apidra or if it was because the bottle was expired. The reason it's hard to tell is because after all that mess, I just switched to Apidra rather than mess with another vial of Humalog. Plus my last vial of Humalog also expires 03/2010.

Anyway, I still have my theories. My blood sugars have been dramatically better since the switch back. Hugely better. I had been having minor issues with my numbers even before the ridiculousness that was the other night. Just little things, like slightly elevated morning numbers and stubborn sugars after meals. It was stuff that wasn't happening when I was first on the pump and the only two things I could think of that could be related was my period and a cold I was fighting a couple of weeks ago. But then they both came and went and the bad sugars were still hanging on. I was stumped.

Until the other night. It was then, in my troubleshooting haze, that I realized it could all have been related to the insulin. The soft signs up front could have been the first indications that maybe Humalog was not the right insulin for me. And Humalog worked for me for years so I'm not saying that I can just never use it. But I think that it would take some fiddling with my basals and maybe even my sensitivity factor to make it work like the Apidra was working. My body just seems to love that stuff!

So I've thought about it and Google'd it and heard from other T1's moms who have gone through a pregnancy on Apidra without incident . . . and it seems like my Endo may have been overly cautious when she recommended stopping Apidra during pregnancy. And I totally get that. I would even prefer that kind of attitude when it comes to medicine. However, in my case, I think it's obvious that Apidra just works better for me. And maybe 2-3 weeks doesn't prove anything but ultimately the chances of a baby being hurt by the kind of insulin I'm taking are much, much lower than the chances of a baby being hurt by chronically high blood sugars.

So I think I'm going to talk with my Endo at my next appointment and see if she'll give me the okay to use Apidra during pregnancy. I'm hoping she'll be as convinced by the numbers as I am. Until then I'll finish up this bottle and then start back on a fresh batch of Humalog. I'll let you know how it goes.

~Layne

Life

I seem to have posted more about diabetes and work-related things recently. I think that's mostly because those are the things I tend to need to vent about. Which is great and all but doesn't really make for a thorough blog of my life. There has been something brewing in our house recently and I thought I'd let y'all in on it . . .

Okay, a really quick update on work . . . sorry I can't help myself! I have stopped my days schedule and I no longer have to stay in Jacksonville 3-5 days a week! Thank the Lord! I have switched to the schedule that will be my regular schedule from now on, which is all 24 hour shifts. Before you freak (like my mother, who just about had a heart attach!) I really think this is ideal. It's bad enough that I found my dream job 2 hours away but the part that makes it bearable is that the hours are flexible and allow me to work really long shifts several days apart from each other. For example, I leave my house around 5:30am to get to the NICU in Jacksonville about 7:30am. I work until 8am or 8:30am the next morning and drive back home.

And, yes, it can be miserable. If I don't get any sleep? If the babies don't stop rolling in? If there are really sick babies already in the unit? It can be awful. But it's only 24-25 hours and then I go home. If I didn't sleep I can always grab a few hours in the call room after my shift before I hit the road. And the best part? I only do that 3 days every two weeks!! I get 3 to 4 days off in between my shifts. How awesome is that? Last Friday was only my second of these types of shifts and it's been rough. But I can already tell I'm getting used to it and it's really nice to be doing what I love (babies!) and still get to live in the city I love and have enough time off I actually get to see my husband!

Speaking of my husband, we actually have some big-ish news. No, I'm not pregnant! (That's what our families have been asking us for the last several years every time we say we have news!! Geez, desperate for grandkids much?) But this time that's not too far off! We are officially trying! That may not be exciting for anyone but me but I've been waiting my whole life to be a mom and I work with ridiculously cute babies all day long . . . knowing I'm that much closer to having one of my own just makes me grin!

We have done a lot of preparing for this moment. Brad's preparation has mostly been mental. C'mon, he's a man and I think they are genetically predisposed to get nervous when the subject of babies comes up. But over the last year, Brad has become more and more excited about the whole idea and it's been so much fun for me to watch. My preparation has been more physical. You already know that I went on the insulin pump in hopes that it would give me the best control of my blood sugars during pregnancy. I already had a great A1C but my doctor thought I'd be able to keep on top of my sugars more easily with a pump during pregnancy. It was a bumpy road getting used to a different way of managing my diabetes. But I think most (*most*) of the kinks are worked out and I recently had some lab work done which came back looking beautiful so I think my oven is about as ready for a bun as it's gonna get!!!

I probably won't announce my pregnancy super early on the blog or to anyone else. I've been working in the NICU for many years now and I've seen what can happen and it's made me more than a little superstitious. So I'll just let everyone stew a bit and go on thinking we are still trying until I'm sure that little bugger is stuck. (I can just hear my mother now. . . "OMG, I'm going to be a grandma! . . .Wait, y0u are HOW far along??")

Anyway, that's my big life news. We are trying to make a baby and we are SO happy and SO nervous about it at the same time. I'm 27 years old but some days I still feel like a kid playing at being a grown up and the idea that I could be a mom soon is bananas.

Other than that, I have a fun family-filled week planned ahead. My brother, Adam, and his fiance, Lacey, are going to be in town this weekend visiting. They live in Ohio and I never get to see them so I'm so happy that they'll be here. Coincidentally, Brad's family is also coming into town this weekend because is cousin (an amazing artist) will be participating in the Winter Park Sidewalk Art Festival, an art festival featuring artists from all over the country. It's held on Park Avenue, a beautiful part of Orlando and we went this past fall and had a blast. Now we get to go and support a member of our family!!

I love getting both sides of our crazy family together so I can't wait for this weekend. Plus, Michael and Megan (Brad's cousins) just had a baby last year who we haven't met so I'm excited to see him! Which will NOT help the baby fever but will be fun anyway!

~Layne

Last night. . .

. . SUCKED! I'd been having issues with my blood sugars all week and last night was the boiling point. It made me want to scream but instead I decided to vent. . . on to the post!

To start, since going on the pump my morning blood sugars tend to be on the low side (50's-70's) but over the last couple of weeks they've been higher (high 100's-low 200's). I thought maybe it was my period . . . maybe it was the wicked cold I was fighting (NOT FUN, btw) . . . the new work schedule. But as the days went on it didn't seem to be any of these things.

Then over the last couple of days, I have been fighting off some nasty highs. When my blood sugar goes high, it usually means it's in the 200's. I feel awful when I'm high and when you combine that with the fact that I'm pretty well controlled (uh, minus this week) it never really gets into the 300's or 400's. Well, in the last 2 days I've had 2 blood sugars in the 300's and several in the 200's. Work was crazy Friday night and I thought it was just stress and maybe some lazy carb-counting on my part. Again, this persisted into Saturday and no amount of strictness would bring these suckers down!! And in the last couple of weeks, even when my blood sugar hasn't been terribly high it has definitely been more stubborn about coming down after meals or high-corrections than it usually is. There were a couple of times when I thought it might be my site but when I took them out, they all looked great! Hmm. ::insert puzzled look here::

So finally, yesterday. On Sunday I woke up to another crappy blood sugar (207). It was a beautiful day so Brad and I went out to lunch on Park Avenue (a wonderful section of town where you can eat at bistros that have plenty of outdoor seating). I ordered a light lunch and only ate half. Then Brad dropped me off at a friends house for the afternoon. There were several girls there and loads of snacks and goodies so I was grazing all afternoon. But I did my best to stay on top of my boluses. By the time I got home I felt like crap and my blood sugar was 331!! My cartridge was running low and so I just changed out my cartridge, insulin, site, everything and hoped that would help. I also took a huge bolus to correct and felt nauseous for the rest of the afternoon.

By dinnertime I still wasn't interested in food but we had dinner plans with friends so I went out anyway. All I ate was a salad and picked at the appetizer that the table was sharing. After dinner I checked my blood sugar and it was 162! Hooray! Maybe it was finally going down. Then why did I still feel like crap?

We called it an early night and I changed into my pajamas and plopped on the sofa with a big glass of tea. I was thirsty and peeing every other second but I figured that was a hangover from my highs early on. I tested again and I was 191. Wha? So I bolused and then tested again before bed 230! Double wha?!? I took some more insulin and decided that I had had enough and it was time to trouble shoot (not that I hadn't been doing that already but I was serious now!)

I had Brad take a close look at my site (it was on my hip in the back where I can't see it very well). He said it looked great, dry, etc. I double checked that I was actually infusing insulin and not a giant air bubble. Check! So what the hell was it? Then it hit me.

Here is some background: I have been on Apidra for the last year and absolutely friggin' love it. It's the insulin I've been waiting my whole life for . . . well, the last 19 years for anyway. I've always been pretty insulin resistant yet at the same time I tend to process it faster than most. Meaning, while most diabetics still expect some effect from their Humalog 3-4 hours after taking it, I know that it has done all it will do for me within an hour and a half or 2 hours max. So Apidra was heaven sent because it was fact acting and all it's energy came in the first hour or two and there was no more waiting around for my insulin to work on meals or high blood sugars.

Anyway, when I spoke to the Endo about getting pregnant she said that I would have to change back to Humalog because Apidra has not been tested in pregnant women. Or:

Apidra has not been adequately studied in pregnant women, so it is not known if it is safe to take this medication during pregnancy. Apidra does not appear to increase the risk of any problems in the fetus when used in animals. Apidra is pregnancy Category C.

Pregnancy Category C is the category they place a medicine in if they don't think it does any damage to the fetus during pregnancy but they don't have empirical proof that it doesn't. I poo-poo'd her concerns but really I ended up playing it safe and switching. As much as I hate being wrong, I would hate it even more if something I did hurt any future pregnancy.

So a couple of weeks ago I dug the few remaining Humalog bottles out of the butter compartment and started using them. I couldn't refill my prescription for Humalog because it had expired and I decided to wait until I saw my Endo (last week) to get another one. Well, the bottles were on the older side and expired 03/2010. I started using them the last week of February thinking I'd be ok and that they'd last me until I could send a new script in.

Fast forward to this weekend . . . um . . . I may have been wrong?? It's weird, though because the first bottle I used was relatively ok. But this last bottle (that I started middle of the last week) seems to have caused me issues. But I can't tell if it's just expired and gone bad. . . or if I need to change my pump settings because Humalog works so differently in me.

Either way, I switched back to Apidra last night and woke up with a beautiful blood sugar this morning (109). I'm going to rush a refill of Humalog and try this again. If it works, I know that I cut that whole expiration date thing a wee bit too close. If not . . . I may have to go back to the drawing board with my basals and sensitivities while I'm on Humalog. We'll see.

But last night I threw a royal fit because I was so uber pissed about my blood sugars. I was sick of being high, I was sick of not having anything I was doing work and I was sick of feeling sick!! And it reminded me all over again why I used to hate the pump. When it works, it's fine but when it effs up there is just so much to trouble shoot! And I had to change the entire set again before bed (site, cartridge, insulin). . . twice in one day?? That's friggin' expensive!! And because those set changes are kind of an ordeal and pricey to boot, I try to hold off and only do it as a last resort. . . which means it's taking that much longer to get my sugars fixed!! And that long process is rough when you don't feel good and you're tired. With shots, if my needles went in, I knew they were good, so the only options are that the insulin is bad or you need to take more. The end.

I'm not ready to give up on the pump. Not at all. But these kinds of things frustrate the ever lovin' snot outta me. Maybe I'm just less patient than all the other diabetics out there on the pump. Maybe those other folks don't mind as much when stuff like that happens. Or maybe they love their pump so much that it's not a deal-breaker. But for me, these kinds of days tend to momentarily erase all the good things about the pump and just leave a bitter taste in my mouth for it. Granted, it was partly my fault, but if I was using bad insulin and I was on shots I would have figured it out much sooner (because with shots there are only two things to troubleshoot: quantity and quality.) And I wouldn't have had that sense of protection over my brand new set of supplies that I had just put in a few hours before.

Sorry to rant and ramble over this. Last night was a rough one and we didn't end up in bed until after 1am. My blood sugar ended up spiking at 280 and then coming back down to 168 before we decided to be done and just hit the sack. Poor Brad stayed up and helped me with everything, listen to me gripe and was just generally awesome even though he had to go to work this morning. I felt so bad after it was all over and apologized for being in a huff and being impatient because I didn't feel well. I said I was sorry that he had to deal with all this crap just by association and I asked if he stopped to think about how other folks don't have to deal with this and how he wouldn't have to if it weren't for me and does he ever wish he didn't have to go through all this? He said, "No, I just wish you didn't have to go through all this." Ugh. After all that, the little turd made me cry! I love him so much and I'm so lucky to have someone like that in my life. Makes all this junk a little bit more bearable.

~Layne

Panic!

So I had two (TWO!) panic attacks this week over insurance and diabetes related issues. First, since I had a 90-day waiting period before the insurance at my new job would kick in, I was forced to enroll in COBRA coverage. Talk about a major bummer? Anyway, there was a hiccup in transitioning me from insurance as an existing employee to being covered as a COBRA customer. Same insurance plan, same company, just different designation . . why is this so hard, you ask? Who knows. . .

Anyway, this hiccup occurred at the end of December/beginning of January, at the same time I was getting my new insulin pump and going to a bunch of Endo appointments to get started. So last week, I got a few bills in the mail from my Endo's office for these appointments. This is how I found out about the "hiccup." I also found out that one of the things that was never paid for was my pump! As freaked out as I was about that, they proceeded to tell me that they would go ahead and fix this and send their portion, FIFTY PERCENT, to Animas right away.

Well, that's all well and good but I had been told that I would be covered 80/20 for this pump and it's supplies. So now I'm being told that instead of paying 20% for my pump and supplies (or $1000 for the pump and $120 for the supplies), I will actually be paying 50% plus a $500 deductible (or $2850 for the pump and $300 for the supplies). Um, no?!? I frantically called the Animas rep. He was awesome and assured me that whomever I spoke with was wrong, my portion would only be 20% and he would fix it right away. And, God bless that man, he did. Both he and the insurance rep called me today to confirm that my coverage was 80/20 and that I was right. (Sweet validation!) But holy freakin' Spicoli* that scared the crap outta me!

Then, today, I was trying to find out more about what my new insurance would be like. Changing insurance scares the crap out of me because all of my supplies, not to mention my insulin, are ridiculously expensive and bad insurance coverage can almost be worse than none at all. I have to pick an insurance plan next week so I called my Benefits department to go over my options. I was told that the prescription plan has changed from the covereage that I heard about at my interview. (Oh crap!) From now on all plans would cover generic prescriptions for $15 per 30 day supply . . . and my portion will be 100% for any non-generic prescription. But, I asked, what if there is no generic alternative? ::cough: insulin ::cough:: She repeated, my portion will be 100% for any non-generic prescription.

100%? Of all my test strips. Of all my insulin. And all my pump supplies?

Oh. My. Dear. God.

Insulin is easily $200/month (I use 2 vials/month), test strips are probably $150 (testing 5x/day) and my pump supplies are $600 for a 3-4 month supply. And NONE of it is considered generic. Nor are there ANY generic alternatives. That's close to $600 per month just for my diabetes supplies, not including doctor's appointments, etc. Plus I have to pay some ungodly premium for that crappy coverage ($150/month). What?!?

I promptly had a meltdown and good and well flipped my shit . . . and then I sat down and tried to calm myself. I did some digging and apparently people in the company were rioting over the change (um, duh!) so they created a plan called the "full Rx" plan. It's still $15 for generic but my portion of non-generic prescriptions would be 30-40%, depending on the drug (which still sucks, mind you). You have to specifically ask and qualify for it. And it's an extra $25/month. These are my options for insurance.

And I have a good job.

Working in health care.

Can I call shenanigans?

I'm going to my Benefits orientation next week, where I hope to be enlightened by some truth that has eluded me so far. I'm hoping someone will clarify this crappy coverage and assure me that there is something that I'm missing and really it isn't as bad as it sounds. Because right now it sounds pretty damn bad. We'll see and I'll keep you posted. And if you see smoke billowing from Florida next, you'll know they've pushed me too far and my head has officially exploded.

Wish me luck!
~Layne


*Fast Times at Ridgemont High reference. . . look it up.

Blessed

Hello everyone! I am still traveling to Jacksonville during the week. It was just supposed to be for the first 2-3 weeks but unfortunately I have a few meetings and orientation type things coming up that I need to be in Jax for that fall at just the wrong times. This makes transitioning over to the 24-hour shifts very difficult. So two more weeks of dayshift for me and then I will go to the on-call shifts. This will be SO much nicer because it will mean no more packing up food and clothes and no more checking into hotels and no more being away from home for long periods of time. Instead, I'll drive up to Jax, put in my 24 hours and drive right back home. And I'll get a good 3 to 4 days in-between shifts. Sweet! Can't wait!

Other than my scheduling woes, everything is still going well. Every job has it's pros and cons but I'm finding this one seems to fit me well. I love most of the people I work with and they make working there fun. (SO important!) I'm also loving the actual work. The patients are more complex and interesting, I'm doing more procedures and getting more experience and learning something new every day!

In addition to feeling so blessed to have this wonderful new job, I was also blessed recently to receive two (not one, two!) awards from some lovely blogger ladies whom I respect and adore. The first award if the Beautiful Blogger Award from Bethany over at BeeMusings. She is another spunky D-blogger who has an adorable family and takes beautiful pictures. The rules for this award are to thank the person who nominated you for this award and insert a link to their blog, share 7 things about yourself and then pass on the award to 10 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are great!

The second award is the "Your Blog Makes Us Smile" award from my new friend Christi over at Believing in Blessings. I just recently found her blog through another D-blog that I visit. Then I saw that we lived in the same city! Finally! Someone in the DOC who actually lives in the southeast!! So we've been talking and getting to know each other and it has been such a blessing to find someone so close to share things with and learn from and vent with. We met for the first time recently and it was really fun. So it's ironic that she gave me this award because she really has made me smile!

The rules for this award are similar to the first. Pass this along to 7 bloggers who make you smile and then make a list of 7 things that make you smile. Easy enough!

I'm going to cheat a little on this one. First, I'm going to pass both awards on to the same people. There are tons of blogs I read that both make me smile and are written by beautiful bloggers. So if you are listed below consider yourself double-awarded!

1. Ashlee from Ash Is Fit is a very inspiring cook and blogger. By day, she is an accountant and by night she eats wonderfully healthy, delicious meals and exercises her little butt off! She also recently moved to Jacksonville, FL (yes, the city I work in).

2. I love Sarah from Becoming Sarah. Her baby is adorable and I've enjoyed following her through her first year of motherhood. Plus her philosophies on life and parenting and cloth diapers and breastfeeding just crack me up!

3. Suzanne is a self-described "born-again diabetic" who has gone through a lot to get her diabetes under control and I can't say how much respect I have for her for that. Currently she is being rewarded for efforts with a growing bundle of joy due in a couple of months! YAY!

4. Karen was one of the first DOC-er's whose blog I started reading regularly. She is an absolute sweetheart and can knit a mean, well, anything from what I can tell. :-) Her up's and down's with diabetes seem so familiar to me and I really enjoy reading her blog.

5. Robin is one of my favorite ex-co-workers ever! She is hysterical and an absolute joy to be around. We worked together in a NICU in Orlando and had a blast whenever we were on together. She makes me laugh harder than I probably should at work but I loved every minute. One of my favorite parts of her blog is the 5 things she's thankful for everyday. her faith and gratitude are inspiring!

6. Another wonderful co-worker of mine from that NICU was Amber, a child-life specialist. She always had a smile on her face that made her patient's day just a bit brighter. In addition to this, she is a wonderfully talented crafter. From scrapbook pages, to cards she can do amazing things with glue, glitter and ribbon.

7. and 8. I'm also going to give back the awards to the two lovely ladies who gave them to me in the first place! Christi and Bee are both so sweet and are definitely deserving of both awards.

Okay! On to the 7 things about me and 7 things that make me smile. Again, I'm going to cheat and just combine this into one list:

1. My pup, Raina. She can be a little turd but she is so sweet and makes me laugh every day.

2. My wonderful husband, who is so supportive and patient. I seriously don't deserve him. He is my best friend and I love him THIS MUCH!

3. The new entertainment center we bought with half of our tax refund. It's so purty!

4. It also makes me happy that I got the aforementioned entertainment center on sale and saved over $400!!

5. Hello, my name is Layne and I'm a cheapskate.

6. My new pump is pink and pretty and I'm liking it way more than I thought I would. (One month review coming soon!)

7. Finally, it makes me smile to think about how happy I am with my life, husband, job, family, dog, etc. I feel very luck and count my blessings every day.

~Layne

Good (but long) week

Hello everyone! I probably should have posted while I was away but there is something about being away from home and everyone you love that just wears you out. Of course, I took my laptop with me to Jax and it served me well between blog-surfing and streaming some of my favorites from Netflix. So technically I could have posted but mostly I tried to just focus on work.

This week I was up early every morning and in the unit until late afternoon, at least. I learned a lot about the daytime routines and the software that is used to generate the patient progress notes and IV fluid orders. It was nice but I always feel a bit of unrest the first couple of weeks on a new job. I mean, I can't do much more than follow people around and watch them do their job and learn it so that I can do that job eventually. It can be very boring and, at times, unsatisfying. I did take a handful of patients every day but their were mostly feeder/growers (that's lingo in the NICU for mostly healthy babies that just need to learn to eat by mouth and gain weight before they can go home) so there wasn't much for me to do each day with them.

Friday, the ONE day I was hoping would be slow so that I could get on the road early and avoid the weather and rush hour, was actually pretty busy. The weather had turned bad outside and was threatening rain and we were joking all day that it was raining babies inside. I ended up at my first two deliveries Friday, one set of 29 week twins and a 27 weeker. I was "head of the bed" (meaning I led the resuscitation) for both deliveries and even got an intubation! I was worried I'd be pretty rusty so it was nice to get some procedures and admissions under my belt. I also attempted umbilical lines (central lines that we use to give the babies IV fluids and draw labs) on 2 of the 3 new babies and drew labs on the third. Unfortunately the arterial lines wouldn't advance on either baby and one of the venous lines was in the liver, one of the venous lives was good! Thank God for small miracles! Only 1 out of 4? Guess I'm a little rusty after all! :-)

Diabetes wise, it was a week FULL of lows. I took a fridge full of food but thought I'd be okay without my trusty supply of OJ and instead took some fruit leather and milk in case of lows. Well, one night I was there I'd eaten all of my fruit leather and finished off the milk to try to rid myself of a nasty low and was still in the 40's!! I couldn't go to bed until my sugar was decent but I'd been dealing with this stupid low for 2 hours and it wasn't budging! I had plenty of food but not a whole lot that was appropriate for a low. I improvised and then grabbed some milk boxes and OJ containers at the breakfast bar the next day to re-stock my fridge! Also I am going to have to re-think my basals during the day at work because I was getting low a lot in the mornings before lunch. I'm going to finish another week up there to see what my sugars do before I make any major changes to my pump.

That's all for now. I had a really good week and I'm so grateful for finding this job. I'm so happy and I think it's exactly where I'm supposed to be. But I did miss home while I was away and I'm glad to be back for a few days. I'll be up in Jax again this week Tuesday through Friday and then who knows? For now I'm enjoying my time at home.

~Layne