Bad day

So a couple weeks back I did something really stupid. I went to work . . . and left my insulin at home. Yeah, I told you it was stupid. Problem is I don't work in a normal office job where I could just take my lunch break and run home and get it. Nope. I work in a hospital where I can't exactly leave my patients and go home. The best part is that I didn't realize I had done this until after I had eaten lunch. See, I was low before lunch and feeling super shaky, so I decided to eat first and then take my insulin, just to let the food get a little head start. (In the past, when I don't do this, I sometimes feel low forever since my insulin is kicking in before or at the same time as my meal.)

So I head back to work and plan on giving myself a shot once I'm back on the floor. Problem is? No Apidra. I have my Lantus, but not my short-acting insulin, the one I take with meals. Then I remember taking it out of the bag the night before so I could take a correction bolus before bed. I could just picture it sitting on my nightstand, mocking me.

In the past I've worked at hospitals that keep insulin in their medication refrigerators. But my unit is the NICU and babies don't get the same insulin we do, so I would always just walk over to Labor/Delivery or Mother/Baby and draw up what I needed. Everyone knew that I was diabetic, I'd worked there for years . . . no harm, no foul. No such luck at this new job. Someone suggested that I talk to our resident PharmD, maybe she could hook me up with some Humalog or even Regular insulin, just to tide me over. Again, no luck. She did suggest calling the outpatient pharmacy in the hospital (the place where patients who are being discharged can fill their prescriptions before going home). I called them but Apidra is so new, they don't carry it. But they do carry Humalog! Except that to get it I would have to call my old pharmacy, transfer the script, have it filled for hefty price, yadda yadda . . . lotta hoops to jump. Dammit.

At this point, at least 10 nurses had found out what was going on and everyone was scrambling to try to help. One older nurse was even diabetic and took shots! But she used 70/30. Seriously? I don't even remember what the deal with 70/30 is anymore. But at least they were trying to help. Which, while I do appreciate it, also made me feel like the village idiot. Because this lovely incident was they way that most of them found out I had diabetes in the first place. Great impression, right? Then they'd ask how long I'd had it. "Uh, 18 years. . . " I tried to explain no matter how routine something becomes after years of doing it, mistakes are bound to happen. How often do people forget their purses? Or lock their keys in their car? Not often, but when it happens you feel like quite the dumbass.

I finally was at my wits end and decided to just beg the charge nurse to let me just run home to get my insulin. Unfortunately, the unit was particularly busy that day and one of the other nurses had already left because of an emergency with her son. So they really couldn't spare losing another of us. I put one last call into the outpatient pharmacy, just to try to hash out what they could do for me. Turns out they had transferred my prescription and they could get me ONE bottle of Humalog for $25. I was relieved I had options but really annoyed at the idea of paying $25 for one bottle of insulin that I'll never use again. Whatever, I was so over it by this point. My bloodsugar was 439, I felt like absolute shit, not to mention like an idiot and at this point I had put almost 3 hours into this stupid debacle. I was miffed. Even more so when I thought about the fact that I work in a hospital that has tons of insulin available. Just none for me.

So I told the nearby nurses I was walking over to the outpatient pharmacy. It took about 20 minutes roundtrip to go get my insulin and get back. (What can I say? It's a big campus.) At that point I was sweaty, feeling heavy and lethargic and developing and nasty sweet, metallic taste in my mouth. In other words, I was feeling like actual ass. When the person behind the register handed me the bag, I tore it open, drew up my dose and shot up before I even pulled out my wallet to pay. He looked at me like I was some nut-job druggie jonesing for a high. I smiled weakly and apologized.

So, yeah, that was my bad day. And probably what started me thinking about the things I was talking about in my previous post. I mean, who else has to actually go through crap like that? Plus it was the perfect storm of events. On a slow day where we were fully staffed it probably wouldn't have been a big deal to just run home. Annoying, but a hell of a lot less complicated then the 3-hour odyssey that actually took place.

Maybe I should have stood up for myself and just said "Look, I'm diabetic, I left my medication at home and it's an emergency. I'm going to run home and I will be back as soon as I can." I really probably should have. But, to me, it doesn't seem like an emergency. I've been high before. I've even been over 400 before and nothing terrible happens. I feel like crap, then I fix it, then it's over. Then I worry about what havoc it wreaked on my body that I may only find out about in years to come, but that's my paranoia for you. So I just feel like a drama queen trying to convince other people that anything related to my diabetes is an emergency. But after that mess, hopefully, I've learned my lesson and will just stick up for myself and not feel obligated to place my health so low on the totem pole so as not to ruffle any feathers.

Am I the only one stuff like this has happensd to? Any other stories of diabetes-related brainfarts out there? Mad scrambles for supplies? Please share, because I feel dumb.

Don't judge me,
~Layne

Suckage . . .

Recently I've realized that sometimes I just can't tell people the ugly truth, even when I really, really want to. For example, those days when everything that can go wrong does diabetes-wise (like running out of strips, highs and lows that won't quit, etc) and someone asks "How's it going?" What I really want to do is launch into a rant about how I'm a woman on the verge who really just wants to flush her meter and call it a day. And yet. . . . I can't, or anyway, I don't.

Another classic is when someone finds out for the first time that I'm diabetic and they say something like "How do you give yourself shots?! That must really suck?" I won't bother to go into how it drives me nuts when people comment on how they couldn't give themselves shots. Like I choose to do it. Like I'm the brave soul who stepped up, sacrificed myself and opted to take the diabetes so that some other schmuck who didn't like giving themselves shots could be spared from it?!?! WTF?? But I digress . . . Some days I do want to say YES!! I do hate this crap. Yes!! This does suck. And then I would lauch into a diatribe of all the stuff that drives me up a wall. It would be very cathartic, really.

But I don't. I smile and say "it's not fun but I'm used to it, blah, blah, blah." That's kinda what people expect to hear, after all. They expect a brave front from folks in general. It's kinda like the "How are you doing?" question. What does everyone say? "Fine." And if you say anything else you are usually met with polite tolerance, at best. People want simple and they want happy. They do NOT want the truth. Especially when it comes to something like diabetes, something they really don't understand to begin with. They want to hear that I'm okay, I'm brave, I'm used to it and I don't feel any different from anyone else despite my diagnosis.

But sometimes that's just not the truth. Some days it's really hard to pretend that I don't see the differences between me and everyone else. To feel bitter that those around me have an advantage. That there is life beyond and even without diabetes. There are people who don't have to worry about using their last needle and not realizing it until it's too late. They don't have to worry about getting low in the middle of work and scrambling to find a snack. They don't have to angst over whether to get that really yummy carb-laden non-virgin drink because really it's a choice between temptation versus blood-sugar hell. And then having friends ask why didn't you get that yummy drink you were drooling over? Again, I can't tell them the real answer because then I either sound like I'm making excuses or make them feel bad about asking in the first place. And mostly it just sucks on those days when it dawns on me that the vast majority of folks don't deal with the crap that I do. That my normal isn't their normal. That my normal could be better, calmer, less stressful if it weren't for my stupid pancreas being all effed up.

I'm exaggerating, of course. I don't know for sure that people would make a face, turn and run if I told them the "truth." But I'm assuming most don't really wanna hear it. Because it's hard to hear stuff like that and, honestly, would they even understand if I did go into it? I can always talk to my husband. He's really good about understanding that I have those days when it gets to me and I need to vent. But what about the times when I feel like having a diabetes-related conniption and I'm at work or out with friends. And I just feel like I can't talk about it. Not only do they just not get it but it kinda feels like whining.

I think that's the heart of it. If I say it's all okay then I'm brave and strong and whatever. But if you catch me on a bad day? Can I say no really, it sucks? I've actually had people say to me after they've seen me wince from a shot, "So you still feel those? I figured you'd just be used to it by now." Well, um, NO! I mean it's not the end of the world but occassionally those suckers hurt like hell. So allow me to utter certain choice expletives or screw up my face funny when a stinger catches me by surprise!!

I know most people figure I've had it so damn long I should just be used to it. And most days I am. But guess what? I'm human and the frustration, unfairness and the overall suckage of the situation gets to me every now and then. But I also wonder if saying so would make me sound like a complete and total baby. I feel like venting would be a sign of weakness. As a kid, I was allowed to be bummed about diabetes. But as an adult? Who's had it for 18 years? Is it kosher to still be bummed? To still have down days? Will people get it when I do and not think I'm a huge wimp who just needs to get over it? Who knows?

I'm starting to think maybe I care too much about what other people think. But on the other hand, most everyone out there wants people to understand where they are coming from. So I'm just putting that out into the universe. It's just a rant but it's also something I've been thinking about lately. Otherwise, I've been okay on the diabetes front. Had some insurance issues that were driving me bonkers but that was balanced with an A1C that I was pretty stoked about. (6.5!! YAY!!)

Over and out,
~Layne

Days since . .

Wow . . . Kerri's recent post inspired me to figure out how many days it's been since I've been diagnosed. So I was curious and I Googled and found this website and . . . just . . . well . . . holy crap!

Duration calculation results:

From and including: Wednesday, July 3, 1991
To and including: Monday, June 29, 2009

It is 6572 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Or 17 years, 11 months, 27 days including the end date

Alternative time units

6572 days can be converted to one of these units:

• 567,820,800 seconds
• 9,463,680 minutes
• 157,728 hours
• 938 weeks (rounded down)

It's funny. I know that I've have diabetes forever. I mean, I don't really remember what it's like not to have it, not to think about food as this complicated thing, to eat without worry, to not have life disrupted with lows, highs and whatever else. But when you see those numbers . . . well, they just seem so high. It's just a different perspective. Crazy.

I don't even wanna think about how many shots I've had or how many times I've pricked my finger. Those numbers would be just insane. Let's just stop while we're talking about numbers I can actually wrap my head around, shall we? :-)

Mathematically yours,
~Layne

PS: Happy, happy birthday to my wonderful husband!! As of today he's given me 4,019 days of happiness. Cheers to the best 29-year-old husband I know!

Baby fever

So I don't really know where it came from. I've never really been in too much of a hurry in life. I have always been pretty school/career focused and if I was ever impatient, it was to be done with school and find my job-for-life. (We all know how that went.) But for the things most women scramble to do (find a boyfriend, get engaged, get married, have kids), I never felt the rush.

Brad and I were together 7 years when he proposed and 8 years when we got married. And I freely admit that 7 years is a long time to wait for a ring. But considering we started so young, it didn't really bother me. I was only 23 when he popped the question and it seemed like it was happening at just the right time. Once we were married, we did get the "baby" question. Again, I wasn't in a rush. I didn't feel any real need or desire to have children any time soon. First off, I was in school and working. And adding a pregnancy and a child to the mix did not sound fun. So I knew I wanted to wait for graduation. Well, I've been out of school for a year and a half and the "baby question" is coming more and more often. I didn't really know what to tell people because the timing still didn't feel right. We weren't terribly settled in our jobs, we were living in an apartment and I had just gotten out of school and just wanted some time to "relax." (Yes, when I say "relax" I'm referring to only having a full-time job. It frickin' feels like vacation. :-)

Don't get me wrong, I love babies (it's my job for crying out loud!) and we both want kids but I guess we just weren't feeling our clocks ticking. If it happened, I would have been totally okay with it and super excited but it wasn't something I was in a rush to start planning for. I knew it would happen eventually and like with so many other things in my life, I was happy in the moment so I felt no rush for things to change.

Then April happened. "What happened" you say? I haven't got a clue. We bought our first house in November 2008 and moved in in January 2009, so it's not like having the house has up'd the maternal ante. I've had months to get used to the idea of having a real house of our own and BBQ's and decorating were the things that dominated my thoughts . . . certainly not kid's rooms and baby proofing. We've been in Orlando for a little more than a year now, so you could say we are more settled, but I just switched jobs a couple months ago and my salary decreased so in what way does that motivate me to start planning for a baby?

Brad and I first started talking about kids shortly after we were married. As a girl, I felt like I was finally allowed to bring up the subject of kids after the wedding without the fear of being called crazy. (Brad isn't all that gun-shy but talking kids before actually being married would have been pushing it.) So anyway, it was nice to have the conversation and discuss where we both stood on the issue. I knew I wanted to wait to be out of school. After that I figured we'd move, I'd get a job, maybe a year or so out we'd start trying. At the time that would have been about 2-3 years away. Brad also wanted to wait until I was out of school but wanted more time "just for us" afterwards and was thinking more like 3-5 years.

After I graduated, I was kind of surprised that my biological clock never started ticking. I had always assumed it would. Instead, I was very career-focused and happy for the break from school and the extra time with Brad. Months passed and still nothing. We bought our first house, and . . . nothing. Then last month, I started feeling restless. Restless in a different way from how I had felt in the last year. I had spent so much time worrying about my career and how it would all work itself out and now all that was gone. It was out of my control and, even if I didn't like it, there was nothing I could do about it. So I resigned to stop worrying for the meantime and enjoy the perks of a simple, uncomplicated job with a great commute. The first couple months were pretty good, definitely less stress. But in April I felt an uneasiness that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

At first, I chalked it up to the career thing, figuring that I just wasn't feeling satisfied with my new job. But that didn't feel right, it didn't settle my mind. It was so frustrating feeling restless, uneasy, unsatisfied and not knowing why!?! I mean, when you are hungry you know it's because you need to eat. When you are happy, sad, mad, whatever. . . you should know why. It was so confusing to know that I wasn't quite content with life but have no clue what was specifically bothering me. Something was missing. Something wasn't right. I was unsettled and discontent but I didn't know why. . . I didn't know what I wanted. I kept trying to tick things off in my head, running things past my brain to feel out what it was that was causing my unease. Career? No, I'm done worrying about that. Unaccomplished goals? There are places I'd love to go and things I'd love to do but I've got plenty of time for that and it just didn't feel like the right answer. Self esteem? I'm not a huge fan of my body and the way I look and there are weeks when I want to personally smash every mirror and take scissors to each pair of ill-fitting jeans in my house. But, no, nothing's changed in that arena and it wasn't what was getting to me.

Then, one day, I thought "kids?" Huh. Wouldn't it be funny if this was my subconscious' way of telling me it was time? No way. That's so dumb. It doesn't happen like that. When I want a baby, I'll just know. I won't get a weird, unsettled, unfulfilled vibe that I can't identify or describe. That's dumb. But once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop. It felt right, it felt good. I didn't really talk to anyone about it because I didn't want them to think I was nuts. I certainly felt crazy and like this was coming out of left field, so I can't imagine how it would seem to anyone else. Brad knew I had been going through stuff and I wasn't feeling right and that I didn't know what was bringing me down. I didn't plan on telling him about my new line of thinking.

That is until one night a couple of weeks ago. We decided to go out to dinner and we ended up having a great time, sitting outside on the patio of a great restaurant on a beautiful night, sipping our drinks and chatting about everything. And, oddly, the subject of kids came up. I always joke with Brad about his "3-5 year plan" because ever since that first conversation about kids every time I've asked if he's thought anymore about it, he says that 3-5 years still sounds about right. Well, 3 years has passed since that first conversation . . . . and, well . . . you do the math. So it always seemed to me that he just wasn't ready and was trying to put it off.

Well, he shocked me when he said that he had been thinking about kids a lot lately. He's turning 29 this year and he mentioned feeling like he was getting "old." Which, of course, he's not. But I guess when you step back and think of the timeline of your life, he was starting to think that it was about now when he wanted to start planning a family. This literally brought tears to my eyes. I just always thought that kids was going to be something that I would have to tell him that I was ready for and that he would have to work himself up to the idea. Instead, here he is telling me that he's ready anytime I am and that he's excited!

Before I knew it, I blurted out everything I'd been thinking over the last few weeks but had been too self-conscious to tell him. We had a wonderful conversation and both got very excited about the prospect of this change. Then . . .

I got the bad news that I have to be on medication for 9 months that isn't good for pregnant women. So this oven is officially closed until February 2010. I was pretty bummed, to say the least. But I'm determined to use this time wisely and get as prepared as possible. Hopefully I'll be starting the pump soon and my endo and OB-GYN are aware that I want to start "trying" soon and we all have a game plan. At this point I can't wait until February. Until then I have a very loud, very emotional biological clock ticking away in my head. Unfortunately this thing doesn't come with a snooze button. :-(

Emotionally yours,
~Layne

Happy 27th!!

Okay, so I'm such a little kid when it comes to birthdays. I just love them. I remember everyone's birthday and I just can't let one pass without celebrating a little. And today is my birthday!! For some reason 27 just feels like a big jump from 26. I know, I know. . . I'm not old but I can't really say I'm mid-20s anymore. Now I'm "late-20s" and that's just weird.

But, no worries! I'm in now way less excited about today. I have a wonderfully sweet husband, great dog, and awesome family and friends to make this day great. I'm stoked. So I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day weekend and an especially great Sunday, May 24th!! I know I will!!

Love to all,
~Layne

Update

Since my last post re: the Omnipod, I had another appointment to see the endo where we officially decided that we would go ahead and try the Omnipod. He says he's normally not a "pump-pusher" (his words, not mine) especially when his patients are in relatively good control, which I guess he feels I am. But there was an exception to that rule. And that is when his lady patients are looking to get pregnant. This is such a balancing act for diabetic women that he prefers they have the fine tuned control that a pump can provide. And since pregnancy is a subject that Brad and I are talking more and more about lately (Eeeeee!! Excited!!), my endo and I thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and start with the pump. So now I'm dealing with pump reps, letters of medical necessity and insurance issues. Fun times . . . note the sarcasm.

I actually got a call from the Omnipod rep asking if I could provide blood-sugar logs showing multiple highs or lows. I didn't exactly tell her that I don't keep logs (bad diabetic!) since I could easily download my sugars. But I did tell her that I didn't think she'd see that many wacky numbers, I have spurts of badness but usually my sugars are pretty okay. Then I asked her if it would be a problem getting approved. My last A1C was 6.7. I guess that means I'm not a great candidate for changing my routine. I explained that the switch was mainly due to the fact that I was planning to try to get pregnant soon and thought the pump could help me tighten my control. She said that I should definitely ask my MD to include that reasoning in the letter of medical necessity.

I'm a little frustrated because I feel like I might be punished for being in "good control." I sure don't feel like I'm in good control! I don't think any of us should be judged by our numbers, so please don't think I'm trying to insult anyone whose A1C is higher than mine . . . but this disease sucks and it's scary and the complications are unimaginably horrendous. I'm thankful that my numbers are better now than when I was a kid (more like 7's and 8's) but if I'm not mistaken 6.7 is still above "normal" and for my health and for my child's health when I'm pregnant this is not acceptable. Plus, if I'm in such great control why do I still get high and low a few times a week? Because I'm not perfect, that's why! And if there is anything I can do to improve my control, to tighten my numbers and to get rid of the peaks and valleys, I'm going to do it, damn it! Why is that a bad thing? Why do insurance companies believe that this type of expense is frivolous or wasteful? If getting a pump means that have all my fingers and toes and my eyesight and my kidneys 50 years from now, I guarantee that I will have saved them hundreds of thousands of dollars. And, uh, I'd be a tad happy about that too, ya know? Keeping all my parts is kinda my goal in this thing here. Sheesh. Anyhoo, rant over. Just cross your fingers for me that I get approved.

Moving on . . . I'm expecting the transition to the pump to be a little weird. I'm sure my numbers will have a mind of their own while I try to transition from MDI's (multiple daily injections) to a new routine that includes a basal rate rather than Lantus to carry me through the day. Honestly, I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. I am so comfortable with my routine. It's easy and I feel like I know what to expect. And diabetes can be a real bummer when it starts throwing curve-balls at you. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I will hate the pump. I think I will like going to an adjustable basal rate. My numbers do different things at different times of day so it will be nice to be able fine tune based on my own rhythm. But my inner realist is telling me that it may take a while to get everything just right with this new routine. Plus, it's a foreign object dangling off my body and between that and the tape issue, I'm sure I'll get annoyed from time to time while I get used to the change. Until then, frustration (read: highs and lows) and diabetes melt-downs are sure to ensue. (Poor Brad. Baby, I'm sorry in advance.) But if it means lower A1Cs and overall better control, it's worth it for me . . . and for a potential little one later on. ;-)

Finally, at my last endo appointment I got the opportunity to sit down with his new nurse practitioner, Julie. For all who know me IRL, you know I'm a big fan of practitioners (doesn't hurt that I am one!) So I love dealing with practitioners and I'm all about supporting "the cause." If you've never made an appointment with a nurse practitioner and there's one in an office you go to (any specialty), give them a shot. Trust me. On one of those occasions when you need to be seen sooner rather than later and your regular doc is booked up, ask for the "NP." You'll be surprised with not only how easily and quickly you can be seen, but also how much time you get to spend with her/him. And more often than not, the folks I've talked to who see NP's love them. I've heard from so many people that, at first, they were nervous or annoyed about being forced to see an NP, but that once they did they realised how friendly, knowledgeable and easy to talk to they are. And they can spend so much more time with patients because they don't have to see as many. I can't speak for every single NP out there but ask around, I'm sure you'll hear rave reviews!! Anyway, true to form Julie was awesome. I love her and I'm so glad she came to this practice, where she is absolutely an asset. Easy to talk to, knowledgeable, great listener, and values my input. We just clicked. All things that are so necessary for me from my endo.

I guess that's all. Again, I rambled but that's how I roll.

~Layne

Omnipod

So, one of the things I did with my month off was take the time to (finally) try out my trial Omnipod. It sat on my desk staring at me for over a month and all I had to do was just peel of the tape and slap it on. So why didn't I do it sooner? I was a little nervous. Why? I don't know. I have such bad feelings about pumps from my previous experience with one (I was on the Disetronic for 5 years and came off about 8 years ago) so the idea of being attached to one again was (is) not altogether pleasant. But on the other hand there was a lot of pressure for me to like the Omnipod because I really think it has the potential to improve my control.

Not to mention that if I do go on a pump . . . the Omnipod is the only one I would consider. Mostly because it's design takes a lot of what I consider to be the negatives of the pump out of the picture. There aren't a million little parts, no battery, no tubing, no cartridge, no site supplies. Just the pod and the insulin. Done and done. And I don't have to worry about the pump dangling off me (which always drove me crazy) or where I'm going to put it when I wear something without pockets. I know a lot of people use the pump garter belt or the bra pocket or whatever the new thing is now, but I always hated those things, they were uncomfortable and the pump still never seemed to stay put.

So I wore this thing for about 2 1/2 days. I put it on first thing on a Monday and took it off Wednesday night. There were a lot of surprises with the Omnipod. When I first picked it up, it was smaller than I expected and heavier than I expected. But when I actually put it on, the weight of it was not as noticeable as I thought it would be. Here are the main things I noticed:

• It was less intrusive than I thought it would be and the longer I wore it the less I noticed it. I wore it on my belly since I figured that would probably be my default site, for the most part. I was worried that it would be in the way and uncomfortable. Not so. I was even able to lay down on my stomach and didn't really feel it. It certainly wasn't painful or uncomfortable.


• I was concerned that, because it was so top-heavy, it would loosen easily and the tape would peel up. Again, not a problem. I would even venture to say that it was more stable than my old sites.


• Call me superficial. . . . call me "a girl" . . . I will freely admit that one of the biggest concerns about the Omnipod was that it would look weird under clothes. I mean, having a pump with tubing put serious restrictions on my wardrobe and fashion choices. I was hoping to avoid some of that nonsense with the new pump. And since nobody ever took pics of what the Omnipod looked like under normal clothes, I had no idea what to expect!! The result? I'm not going to say you couldn't see it, because I could definitely tell that it was there. But only if I was really looking for it. And nobody else noticed it until I pointed it out. I will say that I wore clothes that were more forgiving (slightly loose blouses, dresses, etc) so I guess I'm still a little concerned about what it might look like under the rest of my clothes. But based on what I've already seen, I think it's discreet enough that I can deal. And even if you can see it, I figure there are plenty of people who carry their phones, pagers, etc. on their waistband. So it will probably just look like I clipped some sort of electronic device to my waistband rather than like I have a rectangular-shaped tumor growing out of my abdomen. ("It's not a tum-ah!")*


• My biggest isuse after wearing the TrialPod was that after about 48 hours, it started itching. Not in a painful, scary way. Just enough to be irksome. Back in the day, my old pump-sites would do this and I was convinced it was the insertion site that was getting irritated. Well, since the TrialPod doesn't have an insertion site, I figured it had to be the tape. I usually don't have problems with tape so I was a little suprised about this. This is actually the reason I took it off a little early. The itching was starting to get to me. I have some thoughts on how to ease the itching, so I'm hopeful that this won't be very much of an issue in practice.


• Last thing, when I finally did remove the TrialPod, there was a lot of tape residue and gunk left behind. It took a lot of effort and a few layers of skin were sacrificed to get all that stuff off . . . I'm hoping there is some sort of solvent/wipes I can buy to disolve all that stuff easily. Anyone have any suggestions?? I also thought maybe I could put some Tegaderm down under my site, so there's a layer of something between me and the Omnipod tape. I used to use Tegaderm for my sites in the past and I loved it. Never left a residue and came off great. Do you think it would interfere with the site? Opnions please!!

Alright, this has been a long ramble. But maybe I can be helpful in sharing my thoughts on the Pod, in case anyone else out there in cyberspace is considering it and has the same reservations I did. For what it's worth, I think the TrialPod is a great way to "test-drive" this particular pump and it really did clear up a lot of things for me.

~Layne

*Sorry. It had to be done. :-)

Lazy days

I've been so lazy lately. I can't seem to motivate myself to do the stuff I want to/should do. I guess that's what happens when you take a month off work, even if it is unintentional. I think I kinda lost some of my steam, my momentum, but it was worth it. My last day of work at the old job ::cough:: hellhole ::cough:: was January 30th and my first official day at the new job was March 2. And the month in between was wonderful and exactly what I needed. A break from stress, time to be with my husband, time to spend with friends and family, time to catch up on the infamous To-Do List and time for myself, to relax, to feel better, to breathe easier. It was awesome.

I thought it would be such a waste to have all this time off and not do anything with it other than stay home, so Brad and I took a long weekend vacation in late February. Here are some pics from our trip. We had a blast.

But by the time March rolled around I was ready to get back to work (if not a little nervous about going to a new place). I was nervous but so far, so good. I'm hoping to make this new job an opportunity to grow. It feels like a giant step backwards. Not only am I leaving a job as a practitioner to be an RN again (I love nursing, don't get me wrong, but I did go to school to be an ARNP and I'd kinda like to actually use my degree!) But I'm not even considered a senior nurse. I'm going to be the "new guy," low man on the totum pole, bottom of the rung. It feels like a failure but for my personal life, it's a win. I hope I'm making the right choice and, dare I say, maybe this job will be a stepping stone to a practitioner position down the road. (Pray for me!!) Until then, I'm just going to enjoy my lovely 15 minute commute, only filling up my gas tank once a month (rather than twice a week) and actually having a social life.


Peace,
~Layne

PS: I started this post back in March but completely forgot to post it. Oops! I told you my brain was fried. . . . even still, I'm keeping the original publish date, so there! :-)~

NYC, here we come!

So I've been eerily silent lately. I feel it, I know it. But really what is there to blog about when you are happy, relaxed and having a great time? Isn't this a place to vent? Well, my blood sugars have been frustrating lately (I think I got a bad bottle of insulin or something) and there have been some annoyances to speak of in the last few weeks (most notably my dry cleaner losing 12 of Brad's business shirts. . . do you KNOW how much those suckers cost?? No worries, we found 'em).

But mostly I've been very happy. I guess that's what quitting a job that makes you miserable and spending time with people you love will do to a girl! :-) I've been able to cook dinner almost every weeknight for the last 3 weeks and I love cooking so this is a luxury for me and I've had about a zillion lunches with my girlfriends, ran about a million much-needed-to-do errands and checked about a trillion things off my ever-present to-do list. This is the list that irks me all week, taps on the back of my brain, buzzes in my ear like an annoying mosquito saying "I'm here, I'm here, you have stuff to do, do it, do it, DO IT." Maybe I'm the only one with this sickness, but I doubt it. I know that I have Type A, OCD girlfriends just like me with this masochistic to-do list. It has loads of stuff on it you'd love to do (some of it business stuff, some of it house projects, some oh! I should call that person, or oh! I should run that errand). And then on the weekends when you actually have free time instead of tackling this list, you bask selfishly, gloriously in it and spend it with the husband, the friends, the couch and the boob-tube . . . uh, I mean, the treadmill.

Anyway, the point is life has been pretty nice for the last few weeks. I'm starting a new job in less than 2 weeks and since I have all this free time and Brad has a couple of vacation days left in his bank, we decided to take a long weekend for ourselves. We are going to New York for 4 days. We leave tomorrow and I'm so excited. I'm excited that it's so cold (and I love the cold) and I will get to ice-skate outdoors and maybe even play in the snow/slush. I'm excited to wander the city and go to fun places. I'm excited that I will get the next 4 days to spend a lot of time with my favorite person in the world. And I'm excited that while I'm there I will meet a new friend. Allison from Lemonade Life has been very sweet and given us tips on some fun things-to-do, places-to-eat kinda stuff to check out while we are there. And we're going to grab a bite with her while we are there. It will be nice to meet someone IRL from the DOC community.

So bon voyage, folks! We head out tomorrow morning and touch back down to Orlando Sunday night before dinner. Pray for Brad . . . because I'm a very nervous flyer and I'm not going to be a fun travel companion.

~Layne

PS: In other news, I recently (read:yesterday) chopped all my hair off. I guess all the free time has rendered me a tad bored and I took it out on my hair. I LOVE my new haircut but I'm not going to take pics of it just to . . . well, take pics of my head?? No. But I will be sure to post pics of our trip and you'll see it then!

Six things

I was tagged by Shannon to post six things that make me happy. I don't usually do these but I've never been specifically tagged before either, so I figure why not? Plus, who couldn't use a little positivity nowadays??

Here are the rules: Link to the person who has tagged you. Write down six things that make you happy. Post the rules, tag six others and let them know you did it. Then tell the person when your entry is complete.

Six Things That Make Me Happy, in no particular order. . .

1. Moe's kids quesadilla (aka the Mini Masterpiece) with chips and queso. ::drool:: Oh! With extra cilantro. Best lunch ever. Had it today. . . very satisfied.
2. Organization. Neat stacks, piles or rows of anything. When I have nothing to do I look for something to clean, organize or sort. And very few things give me more pleasure that clearing my desk or checking things off my ever-present "to-do" list. Yes, it's a sickness. :-)
3. My new house. I love the way it looks and feels, the way it's decorated, everything. There still things on my "new-house to-do" list, but even still it seems like the stress just pours out of me when I'm home.
4. Cuddling on the couch watching the boob-tube with my hubs. Just feels so darn good.
5. Oh! I like it when the stinky rat cuddles with us too!
6. The whole month of February off work. So far I'm loving it!

And I'm tagging Karen, Cara, Allison, Kristen, Suzanne, and Jacki. Go!

~Layne