Friday, November 12, 2010

Unpredictable

A few weeks ago, Kerri was asked if she could change just one thing about living with diabetes, what would it be? She struggled to answer the question and then turned around and put it back out into the DOC blogosphere. For me, the answer was pretty easy. The one thing I would change is the unpredictability about diabetes. I wish that diabetes was like what every other disease seems like (to me anyway): if you do your part and are compliant, then you can reign in the beast.

Um, no.

Instead you can count your carbs, test your sugar, bolus, etc until the cows come home and be the most compliant patient on the planet and some days diabetes will still run through your day like a wrecking ball and completely screw up your blood sugars . . . for no explainable reason. (Does it sound like I've had one of those days recently? Hmmmm?)

Most days, it's not the shots, the testing, the pump, etc that drives me crazy. If it was just a simple equation of "Do A and then B will happen" diabetes wouldn't be so hard. I feel like most folks think diabetes is all about the needles. Finger pokes are so scary. Insulin pumps are so scary. Shots are SO scary. By now I'm used to all that. I could care less about the needles. Even the annoying stuff like the constant testing and pumping and carb counting. Not fun, but it's old hat by now. If that's all diabetes was, I really feel like it would be manageable, especially psychologically manageable!

But it's when I do all that junk and I STILL can't get my sugars to behave. Then it just makes me want to sit down and cry. Because, yeah, all that stuff? It does suck. But when it works, it's really not too bad! A quick test before a meal, count my carbs and a perfect blood sugar follows? Not too shabby! But when it doesn't work . . .when I look at labels and test 15 times a day and have to troubleshoot every little thing (Is my insulin bad? Or is it my site? Or did I count my carbs wrong? Ugh! WHAT is it?) because my numbers just. Won't. Behave! Then it just seems like the burden gets so much heavier.

Is it just me? What would you all change about diabetes if you could change just one thing?

~Layne

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for finding me and for your sweet message! Congrats on your pregnancy! If you don't mind me asking, what was your A1C when you got pregnant? I look forward to following your blog :)

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  2. I don't mind you asking. My last A1C was 6.1 about a month before I found out I was pregnant. I had been mid-6's forever and was trying to get it to 6 and hopefully below for pregnancy, even thought my Endo felt like below 6 was too low for a Type 1.

    I had also just restarted on the pump a few months before getting pregnant and had yet to work out all the kinks. My next A1C was 5.8 and my last 2 were both 5.3.

    I *think* all this is in my blog posts in more detail but I don't blame you for not wanting to dig. Just telling you in case you are curious enough to want to investigate. If you have any other questions about anything feel free to email me! LayneNP@yahoo.com

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  3. I can totally relate to this post. I have been having way too many days like this lately. It really does make you want to sit down and just cry (especially when you're pregnant!).

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